No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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