how can u be prego again
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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