Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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