i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
