Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
