The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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