yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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