Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he thought i was a dude.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
