it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
