so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize