the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
