Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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