she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
