I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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