we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
