I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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