a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
