Me too!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
4 words: hood of his car
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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