no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You made out with two different species that night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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