Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
