the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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