I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i've created a new STD.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
