ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
