When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize