listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
