omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
false alarm. still invincible.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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