So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
