You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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