I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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