Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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