Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
