I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
