flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
