Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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