your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
