no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
