My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
