Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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