I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
