Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
