ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
