No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
