Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
