I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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