a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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