You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
