Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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