If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
