This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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