My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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