Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
