so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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