someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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