How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
