i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize