Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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