Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
