she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Randomize
