We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
