i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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