There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
