I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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