Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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