small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
