Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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