Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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